In last week’s post, I shared with you important information that every parent needs to know: how we parent our children affects their emotional life and behaviour.

I explained how being an emotionally responsive parent helps your child to establish effective stress-regulating systems to take them through to adulthood. Knowing this, you adopt your style of parenting so that you nurture your child’s brain and body to manage stress in adult life.

When we respond to our children in certain ways, this gives your child’s brain opportunities to establish the pathways needed so that your child can:

  • manage their emotions
  • think rationally undress pressure
  • self-calm without recourse to angry outbursts or anxiety attacks. In later life, the adult who is not able to self-calm may resort to alcohol, smoking or drugs.

More modern research and knowledge provides the evidence to confirm that our parenting styles can affect a child’s

  • curiosity and drive
  • ability to explore and embrace life
  • creativity
  • develop deep and lasting friendships

And don’t we all want this for our child?

Our parenting has a major impact on a child’s emotional life on a long-term basis because how you raise and respond to your child during the brain’s developing years determines which part of the brain is activated most.  Let me try to explain, in layman’s terms, some of the neuroscience behind this. The caveat being that I am not a neuroscientist myself.

The human brain is made up of distinct parts:

  • the brain stem or core reptilian brain
  • the limbic system or mammalian or emotional brain
  • the midbrain
  • the cortex or higher human brain, the thinking logical brain

The brain parts are connected by a network of nerves which all have their own special function.

During the brain’s development in the first five years of life, millions of brain connections are formed, unformed and reformed. Our experiences literally ‘sculpt’ our brains. This ‘sculpting’ activity is known to slow down around the age of 7.  The child’s brain development is affected by how you listen, how you play, how you cuddle, how you comfort, how you respond when are angry etc. As you respond to your child, the brain connections are made – the wiring is formed. When a baby is born, the more primitive reptilian brain is in control. The higher human brain (the thinking brain) is undeveloped at birth which is why the young child can be so easily overwhelmed by emotions and primitive responses. This is not your child ‘being naughty’ or ‘manipulating’ you. This is your child trying to cope. When a child experiences feelings such as fear, sadness or anger, this activates the lower part of the brain.

This means that the developing brain in the early years is very vulnerable to stress. However when the young child is in a stressful situation, if the parent is emotionally responsive, inside the brain, the relevant neural pathways develop so that the child is able to manage stressful situations. The more often this happens, the stronger the connections and the stress-regulating systems become more effective.


The Confident Mother conference starts in January

I’m getting very excited now about the amazing speakers who are agreeing to be interviewed for The Confident Mother online conference in January.

We are going to be covering a wide range of topics from your employment rights when you are pregnant or on maternity leave to ideas for starting your own business; how to boost your productivity to helping your children to manage their emotions.

I’d love you to join me – you can sign up here.

Fill your Christmas stocking

Before you get too caught up in the nativity plays and carol services, put yourself first. Have you thought about what you really want for Christmas? What would you love in your Christmas stocking? Many of the mums I talk to would love time to themselves, an hour with a good book or a long soak in a relaxing bath. What about you?

Fill up your own stocking first this Christmas because self-love and nurturing is more than ok, it’s essential. We learn that through the book over and over. And while you’re at it, fill the Christmas stocking with love for a friend too.

Here’s my Christmas offer for you – until 20 December, I am offering 3 copies for the price of 2 on The Confident Mother book. Buy today – keep one for you and you have two to give away as gifts to a friend, a sister, a cousin.



Do you want to reshape your experience as a woman and a mother?

Just before half-term, I spent two days in the New Forest, a mini retreat from day-to-day life to focus ON my business (rather than busy IN my business). It was amazing.

Being away from my normal environment brought fresh inspiration and clarity on how I do my best work with women. And how women get the best value and the best experience working with me. I know that for many women who are stuck, lost, overwhelmed … AND want to go back to work or start a business, they LOVE the ongoing support and accountability on my longer programmes.

If you are stuck on something or feel like you are going round in circles, I really enourage you to take your own mini retreat.  Get out of your normal environment – for an hour or two, a day or even overnight. It will give you the space and time that you need to really focus on what you want and how to get it. Simply being in a different environment opens your mind and boost your creativity.

My retreat most certainly boosted my creativity and my energy to reshape The Confident Mother Experience. I want it to provide mums the help, support and accountability that they really need; 3 months is not enough to get you back into work or to change career or launch a business.  However I am also taking on board the advice I give to all my clients – focusing on one thing at a time, so I won’t launch the new programme until January, after the conference.

To be sure I am making the right changes, I am going to invite 5 lucky mums to join a beta of The Confident Mother Experience in November at half price.

If this sounds like it could be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for, and you (or a mum you know), is planning to go back to work, change career or start a new business, then join me on Wednesday evening for a free online training that will give you a kickstart. You can register here.

Did you plan to go back to work in September when the kids went back to school? Has life passed you by? Don’t beat yourself up – you still have time to get focussed and take action. Yes only, six weeks until the school holidays start. However if you have clarity and focus, you can get a LOT done in six weeks.

I’d love to see you sign up for the free training on Wednesday.

I’m moving – will you come with me?

… yes it’s true, I’m moving. Well my blog is moving. And I’m really excited.

When I spent time in the New Forest last week to focus ON my business, I found fresh clarity and inspiration. I am rebranding everything, including my blog, from The Confidence Guide to The Confident Mother.

You probably know that The Confident Mother conference and book have been my main focus this past 12 months.

So why am I only now changing the business name? Well quite honestly, and somewhat ironically, I needed the clarity to have the confidence to make the change.

I know this is the same for the women I work with. When you are really clear on what it is you want, you find the confidence to just go and do it. Change and transition can be scary. But when you know WHAT you want, it’s easy to get started.

I’ve realised that my role is not just to guide women through building confidence, it’s about helping you to be The Confident Mother, celebrating and loving life as a woman and as a mother. It’s about helping you to find that clarity; to create that feeling of confidence; to feel powerful and to tease out the issues that are blocking progress.

The rebranding is happening in stages … I’ve updated the Facebook page. My blog moved today (thank you Helen); the group for mums in business has been renamed; from next week, all my emails and newsletters will come from The Confident Mother. No doubt, there’ll be bits that I’ve missed.

Otherwise it’s no change. I’m doing the same work, with the same focus, I have just got really clear on how I do it.

If you have subscribed to my blog, come on over to its new home here and re-subscribe


Back to business on Monday

“It’s the last day of half-term and I’ve really enjoyed a more relaxed week. However I’ll be back to business as usual on Monday. How about you?

First things first on Monday – I’m going to be finalising the speakers for January’s online conference, The Confident Mother. I’m really excited about this event. In January 2015, the theme was all about ‘good enough being good enough’. There were so many lightbulb moments for the participants – and for me too! For the next event which runs 11-30 January, the theme will be a little different.

I really want you to be excited, inspired and moved. I want you to really feel the buzz and be dancing with excitement, alive with inspiration. More than anything, I want you to take action and do something with what you discover about yourself … whether that’s you and work, your wellness, your contribution, your family or the feminine in you. The Confident Mother 2016 is going to be bigger and better than ever before!

After every session, I will be inviting you to share the action you will are inspired to take using #confidentmotheraction – you can email me directly, post it on Twitter or share it on the event Facebook page. Every action shared will be put into a prize draw and you’ll be in with a chance of winning a free Pre-Intensive Assessment, which is the introductory session for The Confident Mother Experience.

I still have some speaker slots to fill … please share below who would be THE most inspirational mother for you to listen to. “